It seems to me (and I imagine that I'm probably not alone here) that I only feel compelled to post on LJ when I'm feeling a) overwhelmed by worry b) outraged at some perceived injustice or c) delighted by some new piece of videogame-themed tat or delicious snackfood that I've chanced upon and subsequently bought with that money that I don't have. As a result, my blog as a whole probably makes me come across as miserable, crotchety and fat. Never mind.
Anyway. I could use this post to fill you in on all the happy fun things that have happened to me since Christmas, but instead I'm going to talk to you about doorbells. Specifically, wireless doorbells. More specifically, wireless doorbells of dubious quality that you bought for £4.99 in Wilkinsons the other day because you're a student and you might as well face up to the fact that you can't do any better. So, you know those? Isn't it great, the way you can program them to play a selection of jolly tunes at an ear-offendingly loud volume? Also, isn't it great that you can use more than one button unit in conjuction with a single receiver? You bet. Also, isn't it great how you can make them operate on different channels so that if someone else in the operating range has the same crappy cheapass doorbell as you, you needn't be informed of the arrival of every single one of their visitors by a merry, beepy chorus of Jimmy Crack Corn And I Don't Care? And isn't it great that no one, including me, ever actually bothered to stick a screwdriver inside their button unit to change the default channel in order to ensure that no one has to suffer the above inconvenience? Isn't it also great that once you've stuck the button unit to the doorframe outside with the vicious, pongy adhesive provided, it's pretty much impossible to remove it again to make the aformentioned alterations to the default channel? Also, finally, I think it's really great that somewhere in the region of seven people living (as the instructions would have it) within 100 metres of my house all seem to have bought the same doorbell I did, and for some reason seem inclined to favour the more "novelty" options that this miraculous device offers, such as It's A Small World, Circus Theme #1, Lion's Roar, Dog's Bark, Circus Theme #2 and my all-time beepy favourite, Little Brown Jug. No really, it's wonderful. Who can blame them for taking advantage of such a magnificent bargain? It only cost £4.99, plus a few further monthly installments of MY SANITY. Good on them. GOOD ON THEM ALL. And GOOD ON ME, if it comes to that.
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